How I Overcome My Binge-Eating Tendencies
(trigger warning)
It’s 7PM, post-dinner. My mind wanders into the danger zone — I can’t stop thinking about that pint of Halo Top that’s in my freezer, that bag of roasted almonds, and that Twix bar that I’ve resisted for the past week. I start to watch eating shows from my favorite Mukbangers on YouTube in hopes of alleviating that urge. Of course, this only makes things worse… and I head to the freezer, unable to resist it any longer. The angel in me tells me that I would be satisfied with just the Halo Top, while the devil tells me to just go all out since I’ve already ruined my diet with the Halo Top. It seems possible to just stop after the first scoop, but as I scrape the bottom of my bowl, I couldn’t help myself but to finish the entire pint. And that bag of roasted almonds, that Twix bar… and many other snacks that I can’t name. After 2–3 hours of mindless eating, and torturing myself with the cycle of feeling guilty from binging, and eating more to make myself feel better, I’ve stuffed myself to the point I can’t breathe properly. And I’m forced to stop. I shamefully look at my bloated belly and my body reflected in my bathroom mirror, as I tell myself, “Tomorrow, I’m going to make up for this by running 10 miles and eating healthy…maybe I’ll just eat 500 calories every day this week” and I fall asleep, drowsy and exhausted from the binge.
There are particular nights I can recall where I’ve had bad, shameful binges. However, all this had a starting point. Sometime during my sophomore year in college, I started the Ketogenic diet in hopes of losing my freshman 15. Did it work? Yes, but it came with a cost- I discovered binge eating. I would be on the keto diet during weekdays and compensate myself with binging on the weekends. After realizing Ketogenic diet wasn’t sustainable, I started the 16–8 intermittent fasting diet. Then, the 1 meal a day diet. Hopping on these different diet fads made my binging worse and worse, and my relationship with food worsened.
Thankfully during this past couple of months, I started to genuinely enjoy working out and rock climbing; being with family also encouraged me to eat regularly. Although I’ve had some nights where I secretly and shamefully binged on granola bars and hidden chocolate bars, the frequency lessened.
Now with a binge-free month under my belt, here are some things that helped me overcome my binge-eating tendencies:
- Eat full meals at regular time. Not only did I start eating all 3 meals, but I ate regular portions, instead of ant-size portions that I had before. I ate what I wanted (of course, in a healthy way) and ate until my stomach felt just right. I used to eat 1 meal a day, and was terrified that I would gain weight if I ate breakfast. However, that 1 meal I would have would be HUGE and I would frequently feel the urge to binge after. It’s been 7 months since I’ve been eating filling breakfasts and it’s been about 5 months since I stopped feeling guilty about eating 3 meals. I didn’t gain weight at all from 3 meals a day- in fact, this was actually conducive to my weight loss as I became less and less obsessed with food. There was an initial phase where I would have very small meals (in order to compensate that I was having *3* meals), but that led me to be unsatisfied post-meal and search for sweet, sugary snacks that could easily change to a binge. But I realized after a filling meal, I don’t feel the need to snack and thoughts of food and urges to binge disappear. Additionally, I had more energy and fuel to focus on my work.
2. Listen to your body and consider healthy options. During my weight loss, there were many days I would CRAVE fried foods. I would dream about eating fish and chips and onion rings… Sometimes I resisted these urges, but sometimes I gave in. However, I learned that my body craved certain foods for a reason, and I listened to my body. My craving for fried food ultimately stemmed from my need to eat more fatty foods (as I was losing weight), so I started to incorporate more healthy fatty foods into my diet, like avocados and nuts. And they helped immensely. My typical breakfast became an avocado toast with an egg, and my craving for fried foods just disappeared… it was magic. And my sweet tooth was easily alleviated by eating more fruit, like apples, berries and oranges. I turned to healthy, whole foods to listen to my body’s cravings.
3. Be aware of irresistible, unhealthy foods. Know your binge-hinting foods. For me, it was added sugar, usually in the form of chocolate… There was one time I finished 20 Ferrero Rochers, which led to a pint of Ben and Jerry’s, and which eventually led to a bag of Oreos. Science has proven that sugar is more addictive than some opioid drugs, which explains why I couldn’t stop myself, especially coupled with my binge-eating tendencies. I was like a driver pressing on an accelerator, unable to let go, and only stopping once I crashed into a brick wall of feeling extremely full and bloated. My point is, if you’re able to identify your binge-causing foods, you would be more aware the next time you go near it- you can portion it out into one serving, or, just don’t start it at all.
4. Eat some fruit or veggies before (or after) every meal. Although there is no correct order of consuming your food, research on sequential eating tells us to consume foods with the highest water content first, working up to foods with the highest fat content. The ideal order would be fruits, vegetables, grains, beans, nuts then meats. Prioritizing fruit and vegetables could increase fiber intake, which helps to control blood sugar levels and prevents overeating. Although this goes against sequential eating, I found eating fruit as dessert after my meals more satisfying. I stopped turning to chocolate or ice cream as dessert, but instead, had fresh berries and other delicious fruit that are packed with healthy nutrients!
5. Focus your mind on something else. I’ve found that watching Netflix, reading a book, calling a friend, or going for a brisk walk (and many more) all helped to draw my mind away from my urge to binge.
These are just some tips I’ve used to somewhat overcome my urge to binge. It was definitely challenging at times, but if I can do it, you can do it! :)
